Being an introvert or extrovert - can we change?

Mar 3, 2020

This week on the podcast I'm exploring the idea of being an introvert or extrovert, and I'm asking the question "Is it fixed? Or can we change?"

I don't often hear extroverts wanting to change, but I do often come across introverts not enjoying being an introvert. Or at least, they make excuses for it and make changes to their life to allow for being an introvert. So they might not be openly be complaining about being an introvert, but it sounds like if they could change it they would.

What does being an introvert or extrovert mean?

This article in Fast magazine describes introverts and extroverts as follows;

Introverts (or those of us with introverted tendencies) tend to recharge by spending time alone. They lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds.

Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from other people. Extroverts actually find their energy is sapped when they spend too much time alone. They recharge by being social.

I would like to take a different perspective here, and it starts with this question;

Why do introverts lose energy by being around people?

I would like to suggest that it's because people and social situations are emotionally triggering for them. When we are emotionally triggered for long periods of time we're exhausted by that and we need recovery time. The reason they might be getting emotionally triggered is that they might have unresolved emotional conflicts or fears and anxieties around being in a social situation.

These fears and anxieties could be things like

• What are people going to think of me?
• What if they don't take me seriously?
• People are going to judge me.
• I never know what to say... what if I say something silly?

Being home alone simply means they avoid being emotionally triggered, and therefore they can better manage their energy levels.

During this episode I explore this idea and share some examples that I believe support the idea that being an introvert is something that we can change.

I think that our natural state is being an ambivert, and that being an introvert or extrovert is simply due to the presence of head trash. And this means something can be done about it.

I also talk about introvert speakers - of which there are many - and why they might be experiencing the double whammy of performing and being an introvert that means that they need a day to recover after a speaking gig.

Read the podcast transcript

Head over here to read the podcast transcript.

Would you like to change?

If you find that being an introvert is costing you things in your life and would like to become more ambivert, then get in touch about how we can map out your head trash clearance journey so that you can allow more possibilities into your life.